Fireproof

Rating: 5

This was a great movie! Not well acted (for the most part) but a very powerful message on overcoming one's weaknesses, and looking past the weaknesses of your spouse to enable love to grow in that relationship.

The film starts off introducing a struggling marriage where both spouses are having problems overcoming their selfish desires. They are consistently pointing out how the other is always doing things that prevents them doing what they want/need to do or not showing enough respect. Everything is the other person's fault. We are shown the damage that comes from addiction to pornography, associating one on one with the opposite sex in inappropriate ways, not sharing the same financial goals, and a number of other issues that are commonly at the crux of rocky marriages.

Caleb takes the first big step in trying to save their marriage. At the point where both of them are considering divorce, they each go to their friends for support. When Catherine approached her friends with her marriage problems, they were overly sympathetic. Their words verified Catherine's false image of being a victim and encouraged more negative thoughts and feelings towards Caleb. Her friends surely had good intentions, but led her away from any accountability for her own actions. Caleb on the other hand, found better support in his friend who encouraged him to get help to fix the problems and better the marriage instead of running away from it. On top of that, his parents (especially his dad) gave him specific challenges and ideas to help him change and give him a desire to make things better. The best thing about the father’s advice is that it led to Christ. This also provides a very good example of how much we can be affected by those with whom we surround ourselves.

As Caleb began following his Father's advice, it took a long time for his actions to be visible to Catherine as being purely selfless. Even though the actions themselves were 100% good, Caleb's motives were probably not as pure. But with each act of kindness and selflessness his heart was softened and his actions become more and more genuine until his wife couldn't deny his humility, love, and real desire to change. It was his own fault that his wife took so long to trust him, but at the same time, if she had been working towards staying together instead of moving further away, she would have seen his intentions a lot earlier. Open, honest, and frequent communication is necessary to keep your marriage going and to see what's going on in the other person's life. At the same time we need to learn to not get offended so easily and to always assume the best of the other person. By doing so, the love we display is more Christ-like and the marriage is strengthened.

The turning point for Caleb came when he was so frustrated that all his attempts to give service and show love for Catherine were denied, disregarded, and blatantly ignored. He asked the question, “How can I love someone who rewards my good deeds by spitting in my face?” (something like that). And then it hit him as he saw a cross. He was reminded that that was exactly what happened to Christ. He realized that Christ had given His life for him and he was spitting back in His face (he didn’t want anything to do with religion). And yet Christ still loved him anyway. His attitude began to change as he began to better understand and improve his relationship with Christ. When he truly felt the love of Christ in his heart, his heart changed and he began to truly feel love for his wife, even with all her problems and insults. There was a drastic difference in the deeds he did from then on (meaning he did them with real intent and out of pure love) and instead of anger and frustration at her blatant disregard, he was sorrowful and genuinely hurt.

In any problem we are facing, if we can come to Christ and try to better understand His love for us and His sacrifice, we will then be better able to deal with whatever comes our way. The more we improve our relationship with Christ and have His love within us, the more perfectly we will be able to love others unconditionally.